NOTGONEYET

I learned to stay quiet while the walls screamed back at me, Counted not days, but the shadows that chased quietly. The air here tastes like rain that never fell from the sky, I hide all my fear behind a simple, flat “I’m alright.” But my hands still tremble, betraying the cracks that run deep, Every “hush” sounds like a movie I never meant to keep. Still I’m here — like a light behind frosted glass, Almost invisible, almost fading as the hours pass. Every scar is a map with all the cities erased away, I’m holding the horizon, even if it slips from day to day. Let them say I wasn’t worth the wait, the space, the time, I was just learning not to fall when all I wanted was to lie. Someone draws the lines where the light used to spill and glow, Whispers I’m the reason things I never broke had to go. Words fall like stones, but I’ve learned not to feel the weight, Turning them to dust, to a cold, empty aftertaste. They build walls from sentences that cut without any blade, And I just stand here, still breathing, hoping this isn’t made to stay. Memory’s stubborn — it hides only the soft, the warm, the small, Even if the warmth was just a few seconds, barely audible at all. I gather those seconds like beads on a broken thread, Trying to believe that it’s still possible to feel something ahead. Even if this house holds no warmth, not a single grain, My silence is louder than the screams that echoed here again. Still I’m here — like a light behind frosted glass, Almost invisible, almost fading as the hours pass. Every scar is a map with all the cities erased away, I’m holding the horizon, even if it slips from day to day. Let them say I wasn’t worth the wait, the space, the time, I was just learning not to fall when all I wanted was to lie. Waiting for the wind to stop tearing down the doors and the roofs, For silence to feel soft, not sharp like the edge of truth’s proof. For now, I just whisper, on the last breath, almost soundless and low: “I’m still here. I didn’t break. I just changed. Just a little, I know.”